“I just don’t see how a world full of such beautiful things could be bad.” – Ariel
I have always been a fan of the Pottery Barn. I pour over their catalogs and savor the items that make my eyes so happy. The clean lines, the rich colors, the special details all call out to me and say “relax, enjoy.” Halfway through the most current issue I was devouring last night, a nudge came from somewhere inside that cried out “What are you worshiping?” Immediately the elation I felt turned to confusion and then conviction as my stomach turned queasy. Ouch. I closed the magazine and set it aside. I wish I could say I went and read my Bible, but instead I just went to bed.
What is pleasurable to the eyes- is that Beauty? That’s been a question on my mind as I’ve been defining in my life the issue of idolatry. In my quest for true beauty I’ve sought out scripture, and observed the behaviors of women I admire. I’ve come up with so many different answers it’s been dizzying. I understand that true beauty comes from a gentle and quiet spirit, and that is an area where growth will be continually necessary for me. (Thank you Lord for the strong Spirit I have been gifted with… help me tame it!) It’s been my heart to be beautiful to the Lord. Discouragement and doubt are quick to thwart my growth as I sojourn into what is ridiculously difficult for me. The image in my mind that keeps cropping up of my heart before the Lord is truly worthy of ridicule and scorn. There is no beauty there! I am a creature of such human frailty.
In a recent discussion with a friend I was expressing my near despair about my hopeless endeavors, and something they said surprised me.
“Well Sarah, I’d say just stop focusing on your own beauty altogether and seek after the beauty of the Lord.”
Eeeek… it was like my brain froze. A total ‘duh’ moment. I’d been missing the point altogether. The line between worshiping the Lord and worshiping the self can creep up on us rather swiftly, and I was certainly dancing on that line. (Side note: how often do we blind ourselves to what our heart is truly doing hiding behind what we see as a ‘pure’ motive?)
Focusing on the beauty of the Lord leads to a life of worship. That is where my definition of beauty should come from. All other beauty fades to insignificance in the presence of the giver and creator of all who reigns in magnificent splendor. To desire and seek after any other beauty is foolishness.
So now I am on a new journey. I’m still learning what it is to truly seek after the beauty of the Lord, but I have found it is easy to see. His beauty is so openly displayed that I now feel amazed at how I blinded myself to it in the search for temporary things. It is something that strikes the heart to just be in awe of who He is.
A blessed side effect of this transition of focus is that the pressure and discouragement suddenly fades. I now understand what it is I am to be, what I should desire. As I seek to focus on the beauty of the Lord, I learn that I never want to be seen, but instead all I want to be is someone who causes people to seek after the Lord-to see His beauty. If I am successful in that, my insignificance becomes a gift because His beauty, glory and grace will always be greater-He will never disappoint!
Hallelujah to the Lord who redeems!
Ps. 27:4 “One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after… to behold the beauty of the Lord…”
