Spotlight On... guys

"He's Just Not That Into You." is a well thought and fun film full of honesty about romantic relationships. At least it thinks so. As a single girl I found the film rather discouraging and degrading to the nature of... men.
The lead character is an energetic and peppy single girl who is a bit overzealous in her dating endeavors. She jumps to conclusions and puts herself into situations that become embarrassing and she ends up making a bit of a fool of herself as well as a nuisance. Thankfully, a young and uninterested (therefore unbiased) bar tender comes to her rescue and offers advice to help her navigate the world of single men. Thus begins the adventures of one of the many couples that you root for (or against) the remainder of the film. My particular favorite of the stories is the coupling of Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck playing a pair that have been together for 7 years, and while she believes in marriage, he does not. The film is in many ways a wake up call to girls who "love the drama" and agonize over possible reasons a guy is not making a move. Often times the reality is... he does not want to. The guru played by Justin Long, (whom I've loved since Galaxy Quest) explains to our heroine that girls hold too tightly to the dreams that have been sparked by 'exceptions' to the norm, when they are 'the rule.'
As a single young woman watching the film, I could see how happily married or involved couples could enjoy the film and even most well adjusted independent women would agree whole heartedly with the message that sometimes the best step into our future is to be alone, for a change. If I hadn't related all too well to every negative experience our girls had I may have just as likely recommended it to anyone. However, the end of the film left me feeling a little hopeless. Am I doomed to a future of navigating the cues that are obvious to every other male on the planet but somehow indiscernible to the girls? Are the only options to be 1-a sucker, or 2-alone?
Looking back again over the list of men that our young single girl encountered in this film I came to a conclusion- all of them were jerks. Completely oblivious because of their self centered views they care nothing about the plight of the girl in front of them, but want to avoid looking like a jerk (there is a difference- reputation concern does not equal genuine concern). This film
does not do a favor for men. It perpetuates the idea that it's somehow a girl's fault that she can't see through lies-forget the fact that she's being lied to by a liar.
This cuts to the most trying issue of girls who are looking: we want to believe you. We want you to be the stand up guy who is acting kind and sweet. Is it really such a mystical jump that we would believe someone when they promise a phone call? According to the movie, yes it is. This film teaches us to distrust and keep on guard when looking out for a man we'd like to connect with-why? Because all guys are liars. All guys will first save their own skin. This depiction is absolutely dismal and unfair-to men.
I have to believe there are men out there who say what they mean and mean what they say. Men who will be up front enough to say "you know, this just isn't working out, you're not the girl for me." and maybe even tell you why- which is so much more constructive than stringing a girl along.
Now, I don't blame the men for everything bad that happened to our hapless heroine. I can't count the number of times I said under my breath "Oh please don't do that... oh no." And there is a legitimate issue with women who insist on encouraging their friends instead of being honest enough to say "he didn't call, because he's not interested." And the biggest discouragement of all would be believing that this is the end all be all picture of relationships because it leaves one BIG thing out of the picture: God's sovereignty.
God's plan for my life is bigger than just "will I or won't I get married." I need to continue seeking His perfect will, which may or may not include that. If I do start a relationship it will be in His timing, and His way (I hear His ways are perfect...) and Nothing is better than that.