spotlight on Life Verses

Ps. 25:5

Lead me by your truth and teach me

for you are the God who saves me

all day long I put my hope in You

Be careful little eyes...

When I was a child learning about how the human eye processes images, it was likened to a camera- snapping an image and feeding it to the brain, where it is processed and stored. The brain has a magnificent ability to recall any snapshot instantaneously. This function combined with the gift of imagination can create a powerful place of great beauty. Artists, authors and talented creatives count on this realm to be their playground and workspace. It is a retreat to the weary at times and a reprieve from the mundane. It can also be a terrible, haunting, and poisonous place. Just as quickly as the mind can bring up a vivid picture of any happy memory - the perfect rainy day, the face of a loved one- it can recall something you wish you'd never seen.
At about the time I was looking at diagrams of the eye and adding words like cornea to my vocabulary, I was also listening to children's radio theater. There was one episode in a series that featured a song about the brain. I still remember the chorus:

Input, output, what goes in must come out
Input, output, that is what it's all about

Not high art to be sure, but it stuck. It communicated this basic truth- that what we see becomes part of us, affecting who we are, what we think about, and what we do. Any time I feel convicted about something I've seen, I hear that chorus ring in my head. Tonight that chorus is on full blast repeat.
I went to see the midnight showing of a film that I had low expectations for, and I can report that all of them were met, and exceeded. As I pulled into the parking lot, a memory from a similar venture played in my mind and I could hear the echo of my father's voice saying "There are some things you regret seeing, and I think this would be one of them." Sucker Punch was never going to be a high minded artistic film packed with deep and meaningful messages, and the posters let you know you're in for young women scantily clad doing impossible things, shot in a stylistic, dark and video game like universe. It absolutely delivers this product without pretense and is built to create moments of intense sexual tension as well as flashy adrenaline spiking special affect sequences. Not to mention every cliche in the book thrown in there. These girls are dressed to the nines in fetish costumes that are just as suited for zombie nazi killing as any of Natalie Portman's Black Swan costumes would be for fending off storm troopers. All of these were things I expected. And though I had expected these things, I found myself surprised at the responses I had emotionally and internally. As I watched the lead character "Babydoll" work her way through the contrived farce of a plot with parted lip and doe like eyes any anime girl would die for, I found myself wondering if the actress and her 4 comrades of similarly scant coverage knew what they were in for when they signed on. I wondered if they knew they were being used.
True, the film has a rating that is below an "R" grade. The film does something I consider far more dangerous than what could earn the higher rating- it appeals to the playground of the imagination.

"...though it's fetishistic and personal, I like to think that my fetishes aren't that obscure. Who doesn't want to see girls running down the trenches of World War One wreaking havoc?" - Snyder the director on the content of the film.

As I drove away from the movie theater I remarked to my passenger "I am sad that men I love have seen the movie, and I wish we hadn't." Why did we? Why did I go to see a movie that openly invites the viewer into a celebration of the fetishes of the flesh, objectifies young women and cheapens purity? In light of the previous post, Purity is something we need to fight to maintain internally. The place where memory snapshot meets imagination can be the playing field the enemy wants to camp out on and claim as his own. I know this, and still I went.
I went because I'm old enough to think for myself, I can handle it, it's not really crossing the line, and every other rationale we tell ourselves when entering the "grey area" of what is and is not appropriate. Truth be told, the line of "appropriate" usually gets fudged over, smudged and blurred based on the immediate circumstances, convenience and majority rules. Here's the problem - I trust myself too much.
I think far to much of my own ability to discern what is and is not ok for me to consume. I usually side on the end of "I can take it" instead of "I want to avoid the opportunity to sin." I have a false perception of my human strength being capable to resist temptation. I'm practicing self trust - the opposite of what we're supposed to do.
In Philippians 2 Paul talks about how to shine brightly for Christ. Verse 12 and 13 talk about how much trust we are to have in ourselves

"So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."

The thing that I should be practicing is this: "Self-distrust, serious caution, tenderness of conscience, watchfulness against temptation, timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of Christ."(Amp.) But I don't. I chance it. I take the risk, relying on my human wisdom to keep me from danger. That is neither faith, nor faithfulness. I bank on my ability to fence the things I'm filling my mind with from interacting too powerfully with my flesh's imagination. I am taking a terrible risk. Instead of running and striving to protect the work of the Lord in my heart and mind as he purifies and renews me, I put it to the test- an unnecessary, selfish, and vain test. Instead of choosing to honor God, I am honoring the desire of the moment.
Is it worth the risk? Once the experience is over and the moment fades, what I have done is given my brain plenty of snapshots that can be used as ammunition for the place of imagination to be twisted with temptation, haunted with the things I put in there. It's MY input. It will come out.

Spotlight on PURITY

Growing up in a Christian community, the message is given pretty loud and clear that we need to wait to have sex til marriage. There are the talks given and ceremonies held where we pledge our bodies to the Lord and wait for future spouse. We're told to guard ourselves against physical transgressions and be wise in the way we interact with the opposite gender. Pretty soon, we're operating on a long list of 'don't- Don't do this, don't do that. We pinpoint all the things we are not supposed to do and operate with a mindset of can't, don't, won't.
Is this purity? The lines we carefully draw in the bounds of male and female interaction? To keep within the bounds of technicality to stay on one side of a line?

Pure: Definition-
unmixed with any other matter, free from taint.
Free from what weakens or pollutes

The definition of Purity appears to be about what is contained inside. It's not just an external thing. So if your guide is simply in regards to external activities, is that true purity?
In Matthew 5, Jesus addresses the Jewish people on the subject of the law that they have been following for generation upon generation. When he gets to the subject of adultery he says this:

"You have heard the law of Moses says, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

The heart. Jesus was saying this: It's a matter of the heart. What's going on inside of you? It's not about containing the thoughts we have and stopping things from coming out of us... it's about purity where the thoughts start.

What is in your heart?

Our deeds are an overflow of what we have going on inside of us. If you are containing the things of the Lord in your heart, the things of the Lord will be in what you do. If your heart is engaged with things that are impure, and being filled up with thoughts of lust and the flesh... it will be harder and harder to stop that from coming out.
So what do we do? How do we have true purity and avoid temptation and falling into the flesh?

Psalm 119:9-11 How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word. With all my heart I have sought You; do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You.

The heart work. The Psalmist has maintained a pure life by seeking the Lord with all his heart. He spends time with the Lord, and fills his heart with the word of God. This is where we hit the tough stuff. Purity isn't about just hedging up one area of your life and maintaining a physical boundary. Purity is about the WHOLE heart. In order to live and maintain a walk with Christ that is successfully pure, we need to be willing to address every area of life. How are we doin in that? How's your heart work going?
Here's the cool thing- when you let Jesus work in your heart and take over everything, obedience to the guidelines of purity that are in His word- will be something you want to do. You will want to love Him actively. You will desire obedience instead of satisfying the flesh. So turn it over- give your WHOLE heart to Him. Surrender it. Because to live on a list of "don't" as your guide to holy living is not wholly living. Do- live in Christ. Dwell in the Lord and He will dwell in you.

Worship God (Revelation 22:9)

Because He is the Lover of my soul
I will sacrifice
Because He is my Mighty Fortress
I will surrender
Because He relentlessly pursued my heart
I choose to be in love with him
Because He is Higher
I will bow down
Because He is able
I will run to him
Because He holds my sorrows
I will give him myself
Because He is real-He is truth
I will lay down my idols... and crush them into dust

God doesn't want us merely to lay down our idols. He loves us too much to leave things hidden in the secret recesses of our hearts. He will uproot, and he will reveal, and empower and enable. He is a jealous God who wants our entire being to be surrendered and completely devoted to Him and Him above ALL. Let us crush our idols that keep us bound from actualizing a walk of abandon. Grind them to dust, and allow the wind to carry the specks of our former gods to the corners of the unknowable- as far as east is from west. Never to be brought together again.
Praise our God who does not leave us as we are but shakes us, breaks us and empties us. Come Lord Jesus and fill me with You and only You.

Put to DEATH

"Those we served before are dead and gone.
Their departed spirits will never return!
You attacked them and destroyed them,
and they are long forgotten."
Isaiah 26:14

What did I serve before?
Mostly my own flesh.
I can't serve two masters.
I need to put my flesh to death. All flesh.
The flesh that cries to the body- "feed me!"
The flesh that cries to the soul - "coddle me."
The flesh that cries to the spirit - "Pacify me"
The flesh that cries to the heart - "Sooth me"
The flesh that cries to the mind - "entertain me"

Death to the flesh, means dying to my fleshy desires and practices. These practices run deep.
How many things would I claim as a right, instead of recognizing it only as something I'm conditioned to accept, desire, demand that is not a right at all? Especially a God given right...
The right I have in Christ Jesus is the right to walk in Spiritual freedom. What is that? It's the freedom from slavery... to flesh. Freedom to worship openly under the blood offering of the lamb of God. The right to a new name given by God my father, and the right to live under the sovereignty of my new master- who I serve lovingly, staying willingly. All he demands of me is putting to death all other masters. Including my flesh.

To die = gain.
To live = Christ.

He's got it out for you.

"In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by the evil one." Eph. 6:16

He's got you in his cross hairs. How easily we forget this. Maybe we even find it hard to believe. Hard to feel like I'm even that important, that he wants to take me-lil' old me who is only one person and don't account fer much when you look at the world as a whole-out of the picture. Off the playing field, down with a fiery wound that does deep burning damage.

Really?!? Really Satan? Was I THAT big of a deal that you HAD to take me down?

Hard to imagine... unless we really think about what the word of God says about it. We might piece together a different picture.
The God of the universe goes to great trouble to express to us how each one of us- down to the hairs on our head (Matt 10:30) is VERY IMPORTANT to Him. He cares for us individually. He loves us individually. He prizes each and every single one of his children, and encourages intimate relationships with each one, even lil' old me. Luke 15 goes on and on, through several examples (first a sheep, then a coin, then a man) about how important the ONE individual is. Wouldn't God's immortal enemy fight with a method that matches his opponent's strategy? Of course Satan cares about the individual- because God does.
One of Satan's tactics is to get us to stop believing this. "You're not important" he'll whisper to us. "In the span of things, you're nothing, you don't matter" he convincingly coaxes. Here's a plummy little twist- he'll persecute us, and use his own wiles as an example of how God 'doesn't' care. "If he really loves you, how can he let this happen?" We can enter a spiral where we begin to doubt God's goodness and character.

"One day maybe he'll hold out his hands and say 'look at these hands- do these look like the hands of a God who doesn't care? All those times you wondered if I cared, do you have any doubts now?" -Randy Alcorn

Our God cares so much, that he gives us the tools to defend ourselves and fight back. In Ephesians there's a whole list of things. The defense for the fiery arrows of the enemy is Faith. Believe with strong conviction, loyalty and trust that the Lord our God DOES care. He DOES work in my life. He IS my defense and my shelter. The Holy spirit my comforter. The Son my savior and redeemer. Remember God is who he says he is- he goes to GREAT lengths to show us.
AND (from Eph 6) there are more tools:
Truth.
God's righteousness- note, not our own righteousness (which is as rags) but the perfect righteousness of God.
the Gospel of Peace- remind yourself about the peace we have in the gospel! Christ's redeeming power because of his death in our stead, it's no little thing folks. (How often we trivialize this!)
Salvation- it transforms us. We ARE saved. Forever! Live like it, in gratitude and worship.
The WORD of GOD- GET INTO THE WORD. Hide it in your heart, treasure it. Digest it and live it.
It's so important to be ready with these tools at all times. The scripture emphasizes over and over again, be ready for attack! Christ told us to expect it. (Matt 10) It's never gonna be a picnic. You're either gaining ground, or losing ground- there is no treading water. It's either sink or swim. Let's live in power and strength, liberated by walking in our God's way, worshiping in Spirit and Truth.

GRRRRRRR - go get em!

Dare You To Move.

If the Lord has placed a calling on your heart he will enable you to do it wherever you are. The calling is not dependent on the strength and resources of those who are called, but the one who calls. It’s not a waiting game. Don't wait to be completely prepared and perfected (according to your own standards.)
Jesus repeatedly spoke of being willing to forsake all things immediately, no waiting. Do it now.
When he calls you, immediate is the appropriate frame of time to respond. No turning back to tie up loose ends. No final farewells to the familiar. Cut loose and go.
Have you recognized a calling and burden in your heart that the Holy Spirit has been speaking to you?
Why have you not done what you have been moved to do?
Clinging to the familiar for strength turns quickly to shackles that chain us and keep us from growth and achieving the purposes the Lord has for us.
Sometimes, we need adjustment to our own vision. You may not even need to leave where you are. The things the Lord calls us to do might be accomplished in your current location and community; touching the people around you now. So often we're waiting for some grand opportunity or distinctly huge voice to move us. Sometimes the Lord does work like that, but sometimes He wants to use you where you are. If you have a burden, but have yet to receive a calling to somewhere out in the great blue yonder, look around you for ways the Lord can fulfill that calling right now!

I was recently discussing with a friend of mine why he's on a "scripture fast." I was taken aback. When I asked the reason for this foolhardy decision their response was this:
"I want a relationship that isn't dependent on some book."
That concept is not a new one.
II Chron. 34 talks about King Josiah of Israel who was one righteous king in a long line of very bad kings. The kings before him had strayed far from scripture. Because of their decisions they had left the original dictates of the Lord behind and all of Israel was practicing in blindness. So long was Israel so unconcerned with following the law of the Lord, the scrolls were lost to them, literally. In his conviction to turn to the Lord, King Josiah ordered a temple restoration. In the restoration, the scrolls of the law were recovered.

vs 19 "When the king heard the words of the Law, he tore his robes. 20 He gave these orders to Hilkiah, Ahikam son of Shaphan, Abdon son of Micah, [a] Shaphan the secretary and Asaiah the king's attendant: 21 "Go and inquire of the LORD for me and for the remnant in Israel and Judah about what is written in this book that has been found. Great is the LORD's anger that is poured out on us because our fathers have not kept the word of the LORD; they have not acted in accordance with all that is written in this book." ...
... vs 31 The king stood by his pillar and renewed the covenant in the presence of the LORD -to follow the LORD and keep his commands, regulations and decrees with all his heart and all his soul, and to obey the words of the covenant written in this book."

The word of the Lord-the Law and it's truth convicted the heart of the King and Josiah (who lived righteously) was immediately repentant. That is the power of the word of God.
The law is the Lord's communication with man : "Here is my plan for you. Live THIS way." and when Christ came and became the living fulfillment of the law, his life and teachings were literally God saying "This is my plan for you, Live THIS way." God's relationship is still through the law- because Christ is the law fulfilled. (Matt 5:17-19) It's our relationship with Christ that dictates how well we're carrying out His will.

"If you love me, you will obey what I command" John 14:15

Man's relationship with God has been set up with parameters and we have the answers for how we are to live. It's all laid out for us-in scripture. To fast from that is to starve the soul. All efforts to be righteous aside from following as the Lord has instructed is futility.
Do not starve your soul. The Lord wants you to live an abundant life.

What is beauty

“I just don’t see how a world full of such beautiful things could be bad.” – Ariel

I have always been a fan of the Pottery Barn. I pour over their catalogs and savor the items that make my eyes so happy. The clean lines, the rich colors, the special details all call out to me and say “relax, enjoy.” Halfway through the most current issue I was devouring last night, a nudge came from somewhere inside that cried out “What are you worshiping?” Immediately the elation I felt turned to confusion and then conviction as my stomach turned queasy. Ouch. I closed the magazine and set it aside. I wish I could say I went and read my Bible, but instead I just went to bed.

What is pleasurable to the eyes- is that Beauty? That’s been a question on my mind as I’ve been defining in my life the issue of idolatry. In my quest for true beauty I’ve sought out scripture, and observed the behaviors of women I admire. I’ve come up with so many different answers it’s been dizzying. I understand that true beauty comes from a gentle and quiet spirit, and that is an area where growth will be continually necessary for me. (Thank you Lord for the strong Spirit I have been gifted with… help me tame it!) It’s been my heart to be beautiful to the Lord. Discouragement and doubt are quick to thwart my growth as I sojourn into what is ridiculously difficult for me. The image in my mind that keeps cropping up of my heart before the Lord is truly worthy of ridicule and scorn. There is no beauty there! I am a creature of such human frailty.

In a recent discussion with a friend I was expressing my near despair about my hopeless endeavors, and something they said surprised me.

“Well Sarah, I’d say just stop focusing on your own beauty altogether and seek after the beauty of the Lord.”

Eeeek… it was like my brain froze. A total ‘duh’ moment. I’d been missing the point altogether. The line between worshiping the Lord and worshiping the self can creep up on us rather swiftly, and I was certainly dancing on that line. (Side note: how often do we blind ourselves to what our heart is truly doing hiding behind what we see as a ‘pure’ motive?)

Focusing on the beauty of the Lord leads to a life of worship. That is where my definition of beauty should come from. All other beauty fades to insignificance in the presence of the giver and creator of all who reigns in magnificent splendor. To desire and seek after any other beauty is foolishness.

So now I am on a new journey. I’m still learning what it is to truly seek after the beauty of the Lord, but I have found it is easy to see. His beauty is so openly displayed that I now feel amazed at how I blinded myself to it in the search for temporary things. It is something that strikes the heart to just be in awe of who He is.

A blessed side effect of this transition of focus is that the pressure and discouragement suddenly fades. I now understand what it is I am to be, what I should desire. As I seek to focus on the beauty of the Lord, I learn that I never want to be seen, but instead all I want to be is someone who causes people to seek after the Lord-to see His beauty. If I am successful in that, my insignificance becomes a gift because His beauty, glory and grace will always be greater-He will never disappoint!

Hallelujah to the Lord who redeems!

Ps. 27:4 “One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after… to behold the beauty of the Lord…”

spotlight on courage, part 3

The key to courage:
Faith.

"So then faith comes by hearing,
and hearing by the word of God."
~Romans 10:17

When I think about the way my relationships have changed as a result of getting scripture into my regular diet- with the Lord, with the world, with my community... it's incredible. I can always rest in the confidence of who God is. The vitality of the word of God in the life of a believer becomes more and more relevant and evidenced as I continue to read. I can honestly say there has never been a time I have opened the word since committing to go forward in prayer that I have not been built into.
Key things that helped me getting into the Word:
Getting into a small Bible Study.
A place I felt was comfortable enough to ask questions, because the people there were trustworthy and knowledgeable about the word as well as humble. The fact that there was no other agenda than to read the Bible in community was helpful as well. Simply reading the word of the Lord and counting on Him to do the revealing. No written assignments. No model for application. Read the chapter, and talk about what it was actually saying. What was really going on.
Surprisingly, I have found this experience rare. There is a tendency in small groups to follow a guide or a manual. I more often find people getting together to read inspirational books on how to live according to the word of God. Why not just read the word of God? We can trust that He will not let His word return void. If the heart is willing to seek Him first and be open to what God is truly saying, then He will meet the heart of the seeker.
Setting up a pattern for study, and sticking to that pattern.
Mine was a chapter a day. Now, I may not always be able to repeat the whole chapter. But I have found that the Lord always reveals something-if I ask Him to. Sometimes it will be reading a long series of chapters and then a huge revelation will hit, and I look back at the journey and see how the Lord prepared my heart.
The fact that there was a group of people on the same pattern was a huge help. Getting an e-mail every day that just let you know there were others on the same page is a huge encouragement.
Learning the Cultural Context.
Understanding the cultural context of when the scripture was written is a very doable thing. In my case, the leaders of my study brought the Jewish culture of the time into the forefront in way I had yet to process. With that as a tool, pieces of scripture that I used to skip over and assume would never become clear to me were suddenly hugely revelatory, and put many things into a whole new perspective. Since then I have found if something seems not to make sense or is not easily understood, sometimes those things are the pieces I need to go back to the most. They can be the part of the passage that puts an entirely new perspective on things, or the crux of a lesson the Lord has for me.

Our God wants to be known. He has given us the means to know Him in His word.

spotlight on courage, part 2

I had identified my problem: I wasn't in the word of God.
The Solution: Start reading the Bible.
Hurdles: Guilt... the guilt that I was presenting myself to the world as a Christian who didn't really know how to stand on her own two feet.
There was also the fact that when I would read my Bible on my own, I felt like I was missing something-missing alot actually. There were things that I simply assumed I would never understand. That frustrated me.
So what was my solution?
Prayer. It was so simple, it felt foolish. Praying to the Lord to help me understand what I was reading. Praying that something would change and I would understand what was going on. So I committed my heart to praying honestly for understanding. I also had a willing spirit... to do whatever work I needed to do to get to that place... truly open to whatever the Lord led me to.
Next came the step of faith: committing to discipline myself to read regularly, expecting results.
These were the necessary inner changes that prompted behavioral changes.
And God met me.
As I read, I would find that things became more and more clear, and easier to understand. My entire walk was truly revolutionized. The confidence in the God I serve grew exponentially. The confidence that I could know God's direct will for my life, for humanity, his plan for salvation... the answers to SO many questions I struggled with, were all there! It was like I was finally reading the manual to life.
I was astonished. I knew it was an answer to prayer.

Spotlight on Courage

K. I could pretty much be the poster child for the growing up Christian. Raised by Christian parents-check. Homeschooled for early education-check. Private Christian Education-check. Involved in many church functions, ministries, activities, extra curriculars-check. Was a "good kid" who hung out with other "good kids". And we really were good actually...
Being inundated with the Christianeese you find in all these places, I knew the jargon and the theological terms, and how to use them. I could sing on any worship team and deliver any speech (I once gave an abstinence talk for extra credit) and think nothing of it- in front of a primarily Christian audience.
Inside, hidden away was something I considered a shameful secret: I was a coward. Whenever people would go out street witnessing, I would make some excuse and opt out. When it came time to move out of my pond and transition to a bigger school - public college, there was a small part of me that always remained frightened. The idea of getting into a discussion about my Christianity, and my beliefs put me in a cold sweat.
I was fearful of looking foolish: of saying something that was unsound and therefore ridiculous. Fearful I wouldn't know the answer to the questions or objections of a skeptic. And to my deepest shame, there was a part of me that was nervous that if I truly listened without being armored up, I might be shaken in my own faith.
This fear stemmed from something quite simple actually- I lacked regular scripture in my diet.





The environment that spoon fed me the truth of who God was, and how to look at things with a Biblical perspective had not done something quite vital-I had not been motivated to read the Bible on my own. In fact, I was so burnt out by everything I was doing for necessity in school, church, ministry... I viewed personal Bible reading as a chore that I didn't have the will to complete. I felt that my environment gave me enough-more than.
I needed a change.
Truth be told, I always knew I needed one.
But what? How?

Spotlight on self righteousness

"Who among you fears the Lord and obeys his servant?
If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light,
trust in the Lord and rely on your God.
But watch out, you who live in your own light and warm yourselves by your own fires.
This is the reward you will receive from me:
You will soon fall down in great torment." Is. 50:10-11

Walking in our own light...

Spotlight On... guys

"He's Just Not That Into You." is a well thought and fun film full of honesty about romantic relationships. At least it thinks so. As a single girl I found the film rather discouraging and degrading to the nature of... men.
The lead character is an energetic and peppy single girl who is a bit overzealous in her dating endeavors. She jumps to conclusions and puts herself into situations that become embarrassing and she ends up making a bit of a fool of herself as well as a nuisance. Thankfully, a young and uninterested (therefore unbiased) bar tender comes to her rescue and offers advice to help her navigate the world of single men. Thus begins the adventures of one of the many couples that you root for (or against) the remainder of the film. My particular favorite of the stories is the coupling of Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck playing a pair that have been together for 7 years, and while she believes in marriage, he does not. The film is in many ways a wake up call to girls who "love the drama" and agonize over possible reasons a guy is not making a move. Often times the reality is... he does not want to. The guru played by Justin Long, (whom I've loved since Galaxy Quest) explains to our heroine that girls hold too tightly to the dreams that have been sparked by 'exceptions' to the norm, when they are 'the rule.'
As a single young woman watching the film, I could see how happily married or involved couples could enjoy the film and even most well adjusted independent women would agree whole heartedly with the message that sometimes the best step into our future is to be alone, for a change. If I hadn't related all too well to every negative experience our girls had I may have just as likely recommended it to anyone. However, the end of the film left me feeling a little hopeless. Am I doomed to a future of navigating the cues that are obvious to every other male on the planet but somehow indiscernible to the girls? Are the only options to be 1-a sucker, or 2-alone?
Looking back again over the list of men that our young single girl encountered in this film I came to a conclusion- all of them were jerks. Completely oblivious because of their self centered views they care nothing about the plight of the girl in front of them, but want to avoid looking like a jerk (there is a difference- reputation concern does not equal genuine concern). This film
does not do a favor for men. It perpetuates the idea that it's somehow a girl's fault that she can't see through lies-forget the fact that she's being lied to by a liar.
This cuts to the most trying issue of girls who are looking: we want to believe you. We want you to be the stand up guy who is acting kind and sweet. Is it really such a mystical jump that we would believe someone when they promise a phone call? According to the movie, yes it is. This film teaches us to distrust and keep on guard when looking out for a man we'd like to connect with-why? Because all guys are liars. All guys will first save their own skin. This depiction is absolutely dismal and unfair-to men.
I have to believe there are men out there who say what they mean and mean what they say. Men who will be up front enough to say "you know, this just isn't working out, you're not the girl for me." and maybe even tell you why- which is so much more constructive than stringing a girl along.
Now, I don't blame the men for everything bad that happened to our hapless heroine. I can't count the number of times I said under my breath "Oh please don't do that... oh no." And there is a legitimate issue with women who insist on encouraging their friends instead of being honest enough to say "he didn't call, because he's not interested." And the biggest discouragement of all would be believing that this is the end all be all picture of relationships because it leaves one BIG thing out of the picture: God's sovereignty.
God's plan for my life is bigger than just "will I or won't I get married." I need to continue seeking His perfect will, which may or may not include that. If I do start a relationship it will be in His timing, and His way (I hear His ways are perfect...) and Nothing is better than that.

Spotlight on Dependance

Before the throne of God I stand

Alone, endless white surrounds me. I gaze upon the throne with trepidation and resolve. I have been made righteous… and I will continue in this righteousness.

As I gaze upon the Lord, suddenly to my right, there is my sin. The black rough edged matter is a small and nearly insignificant pile. I don't even look at it. To look at it is to acknowledge its existence, and to recognize it as my own is to give it power. My gaze remains fixed upon the Lord. He knows my sin. He knows I fight against it. As I look to the Lord, with my eyes I say, You are my fortress. I take courage in you.

My sin grows. Suddenly the pile that was small and seemingly insignificant rapidly multiplies to be a steadily growing mound that if I were to turn my gaze to the side, it would crowd my vision. But I refuse to break my gaze away from the Lord. I resolve to be strong and stand firm before the Lord. He knows I struggle against it. He knows I choose to look on Him instead of my sin. But the mass of rough edged rock like blackness is now pushing by me. The once small and manageable pile at my feet is now running past me in an endless river that is rising, stark and harshly contrasting the pure white surroundings. All the while I gaze straight at the throne and nowhere else. Obviously sinking in my own wrong, I determine that by my resolve I shall stand. Struggle to maintain my balance and stay upright before God.

The anxiety I feel is rising. The waist deep teeming mass of dark and sharp edged ugliness is becoming an endless sea that threatens to swallow me. And I start to feel anger- anger at my own weakness, and foolishness. I can feel my footing start to slip. I am neck deep in my own sin that I rail against. I am being battered by the blackness, against my will. How can I ever stand? How can I possibly remain before the Lord? Any moment my footing will be knocked out from under me and I will vanish from before the throne, swept into the darkness which I have borne. It's impossible. And as I stretch out my arm toward the throne to reach toward the Lord as if to grab a hold, I am overtaken by the raging waves of iniquity and disappear from the throne, powerless to escape the raging sea. I am hopeless; lost forever from the presence of the throne. I cannot escape the ocean that is carrying me away, nor can I find footing to fight the endless current of the endless expanse of my own sin.

And I tried. I really did. For as long as I could I stood where I knew I should be. I stood with all my strength, willpower and desire to be right with God- to remain righteous-to be worthy of the grace I have been given. It was all in vain. I was powerless against my own wrong. How could I, how could anyone hope to stand before the throne? We are our own saboteurs, despite our best efforts we cannot remain in righteous standing before the Lord.

My despair is causing me to sink into the waves of death that have swept me away. On the horizon there is one immovable object. As I am swept closer the figure comes more into focus. There ahead of me standing firm and immovable is a cross. A man, who is weeping in anguish, is nailed to that cross. As my sin sweeps past and around this man on the cross the rough and sharp edges of my terrible deeds rip and tear away his flesh. The stone like black ugliness is battering him, crushing his bones and bruising his face. I do not want to look. I can't bear to see the things that I have done to this man. But the immovable cross is directly ahead of me. I see that along with my sin, I am being dragged with the full force of the flood toward the cross. I will be bashed against it with the blow of a battering ram and I know I will be broken by the force. Worse yet, I know that the force of my impact on this man will be the final strike that breaks Him.

Suddenly in one blinding crash, I am swept into the cross, against Jesus the Lamb of God. I close my eyes against the searing pain. As I weep I hear His sobs.

Then, I feel his arms wrap around me. He turns and holds me to him with surprising strength, and as he does the blood pouring from his battered body is smeared all over me. I am covered in it. I no more feel the rushing river of sin, because he is taking the impact of it. My ears are filled with the sound of his voice, as he prays over me. He prays over me. I am the one whose sin has broken his body. I am powerless and undeserving having done nothing righteous. My best efforts have come to nothing. Yet He holds me still.

I open my eyes, and gone is the endless ocean of my sin. I am standing whole and healed of all brokenness again before the throne of God. And holding me firm, steadying my hand, holding me still is Jesus. Yeshua the blameless one who still carries the wounds that my sin has left. He remains broken still so I can be whole.

My heart is full of so many things, and all I can do is gaze on my Savior. Cling to Him who has made me whole.

Before the throne of God I stand.

25 Random things about me!

1) I can talk and sing with my mouth closed.

2) I literally woke up the neighborhood when I experienced my first and only bee-sting at 7. People called.

3) When I was about 6, I almost died from electric shock. I was leaning to tell time, and I needed to look at the only clock that wasn't digital. In an attempt to unplug it from the wall, I did what every sensible child does: rely on the strongest weapon your body offers-your teeth.
Have you ever seen those old cartoons when the character gets shocked and all the black and white squiggly lines fill the tv screen? Yeah, it's like that.

4) At 6 I also sliced my cheek open on a Gatorade bottle. Remember when those used to be made of clouded glass? That's why they're plastic now...I was a bit adventurous and accident prone as a child.

5) In the summer I spent with my aunt on her dairy, I baby sat 2 infants, drove a truck, swam all day unsupervised, got lost in a cornfield, stayed up all night watching Under Siege and the Cutting Edge and various action films and lived on popsicles... I was 9.

6) I HATE when people say "I could care less." THAT IS NOT A QUALITATIVE STATEMENT! It means NOTHING! There is no way to discern your level of caring from that statement. The ACTUAL phrase is " I COULDN'T care less" saying that you do not care at all and it would not be possible for you to have any less care.

7) I LOVE old movies. I have a long list of favorites. Most of them have Cary Grant or Katherine Hepburn in them. This being said, I have never seen Gone With the Wind.

8) I have a phobia of being lost in deep open water, and anything that swims that is larger than a dolphin. I don't care what they say, Shamu is NOT your friend. KILLER whale people. They have the word KILLER in their name for a reason!

9) I am claustrophobic. The worst case I ever experienced was the trip I took to the top of the Statue of Liberty. The stairs up and down were a nightmare.

10) My first love was a boy named Ryan who I met in Sunday school. I cried when he moved away.

11) I LOVE fireworks.

12) I remember my first lead role in a musical so vividly, I could probably step into the roll with an hour's notice.

13) I witnessed someone requesting O.J. Simpson write "I did it" as an autograph.

14) I am usually the last person to need a restroom on a road trip. (I outlasted both my brother and father on a trip to Monterey Bay- twice over.) This is partially due to my amazing bladder control, and a healthy fear of public restrooms.

15) I can not eat eggs. I will vomit.

16) I do not like birds.

17) I LOVE big Dogs.

18) I have size 11 feet, which makes my love of shoes tragic.

19) I am addicted to buying cards and stationary.

20) I read each book in the Twilight series in hour and a half sittings- in Borders.

21) I had a childhood dream come true twice over in getting to perform with Psalty the singing songbook for the Harvest Kids Crusade 2 times, then becoming the choreographer for the kids crusade 3 years later.

22) I break into song in random locations.

23) I am allergic to 2 things: A weed that grows somewhere in Australia, and cockroaches.

24) I have never broken a bone.

25) My dream role in a straight show is Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing. My dream role in a musical is Eliza Dolittle in My Fair Lady.

Spotlight on

Service.

One of the memory verses that stuck from Sunday School:

"Col. 3:23 Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as [something done] for the Lord and not for men"

The child like understanding of this verse is still something I need to be reminded of regularly at my adult age. We weren't told to do only the difficult things as unto the Lord, or only the easy things as unto the Lord, but whatever we do. Yikes. Talk about the burden of responsibility...
Something I've only been able to grasp in my adulthood however, is the liberty this command brings.
Often times when I am in the midst of a difficult task I will often try to think of 'good' reasons I should NOT resent the task. For example, when cleaning up after someone else. (We should all sit down right now and write our mothers thank you notes.) I often reason "there are times I have to run out the door myself and leave a mess behind, so I should give grace and mercy." or "they are so busy and have a lot on their plate." While these sound like noble things and may improve the spirit in which I am acting, there are moments those reasons just don't cut it. Sometimes the task at hand is something I abhor, and no amount of gratitude or cheering up make the task seem worthwhile- especially when I am serving someone I am at odds with.
The little voice in my head can logically weed out every single reason I should NOT do the task at hand and either leave it or refuse it. Either way, the task becomes a problem for someone else. That is 1-irresponsible 2-NOT the heart of a servant.
Here is the root of my problem. My motivation is human oriented. I find my motivation in what I am doing for man, not the Lord. As unto the Lord, with all my soul- that is my command. The Lord is worthy of all honor and glory... and when the task at hand becomes an opportunity to bring Him these things, suddenly there's a certain joy that floods the heart. The mundane becomes an act of service for the God who gives us so much. It's the spirit in which we act that makes all the difference. How much more zeal and effort is there in something done as unto the Lord? The reward and satisfaction then are priceless because the knowledge that you are serving your maker is something no one else can evaluate. Greater still is the knowledge that He knows and sees your heart and effort-He receives the gift of service. That is so much greater a reward than any human accolade or recognition, because the things of God are eternal. Your work as unto the Lord will be forever a step in the molding of a heart that is being refined as gold.

For your entertainment

Next time you're in the mood for a snappy romantic comedy, I suggest this one from the vaults:
Adam's Rib.
Battle of the sexes meets courtroom antics. Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy duke it out as opposing lawyers in a case of "Woman attempts to shoot husband and mistress but botches up and now they want to take her kids". Hepburn defends the woman, Tracy the man. The best part, they're a married couple that happen to be madly in love.
Hepburn and Tracy paired up a few times, and this is my favorite of those films. The Ease and mutual respect they held for each other make their on-screen chemistry a thing of beauty.
Kate and Spence were quite the professional pair, and people talked often of their work relationship-as well as their real life romantic entanglement. Katherine was enamored with Spencer and it was rumored she asked him to marry her, but he refused to leave his wife-though they were separated. (The act of faithfulness is attributed to his catholic roots)
That just makes the story of Adam's Rib all the more interesting. Above all things it truly is a fable about marriage and commitment. As the trial progresses, Amanda (Kate) and Adam(Spence) find the proceedings taking a toll on their life at home. Trust and pride become the issues that surface and threaten to sink the love boat these two have been sailing on happily. Who wins? Adam and Husband or Amanda and wife? The true twist isn't even the verdict.
An added bonus is a young Judy Holiday who was an unknown to film audiences at the time. Her role in Adam's Rib was actually a bid cooked up by Spencer and Tracy to get the studio heads to notice her and let her reprise her broadway roll in the film version of Born Yesterday(Which was re-made again in the 90's with Melanie Griffith.)

Spotlight on Illness

Being sick makes people miserable. At least it makes me miserable. There's the whole getting sick part, which is frustrating. The sinking sensation that all the vitamins and healthy things you throw into your system are an exercise in futility, because you are slipping still into the realm of the sick. Then there's the crash. Your body full on protests to any normal activity by taking all senses and making them difficult-the eyes are unfocused, the nose becomes not only useless, but a hindrance to sleeping as well as breathing, because snoring now enters the picture. These impediments are almost worse than not being able to do anything at all- because you still try to use these senses as if they were fully functional-which calls back the frustration. Then the coma like state of exhaustion, which turns to restlessness when your mind won't stop thinking about all the things you should be doing, but can't because you won't be able to complete them in a manner that is helpful or efficient-because your mind is cloudy-partly from medication, partly from exhaustion. Then the stir crazy-where you know you don't feel well, but you're done and bored with the just laying around and feeling useless. You have 2 options - still sit around and try to keep your active mind quiet, or become prematurely active and relapse.
The worst part of all however, is the loneliness. The loneliness is the worst because it breeds selfishness and pride, grows resentment from bitterness, stokes the fires of our tempers to produce anger. Loneliness can also speak dark things to us, and create a growth environment for insecurity and pain, which can open the door to the downward spiral staircase of depression. And to cope with this horrible foe-we turn to the things we've exercised to escape. The escapism of a television show or movie. Food that brings comfort. A video game that brings excitement- anything to leave the present state. Using these diversions to ignore the loneliness works less and less, so we do the logical thing and seek after these things more and more, turning the escapism into gluttony. Sure it's only for a few days, but when do we start picking up the slack again? Do we wait til we're no longer ill, or at least use that as an excuse?
Why turn to these things at all? Why can't the time instead be filled with seeping ourselves in the Lord? Listening more carefully for His voice. Praying, reading the Word- filling the time and myself with things that will build up the soul. Is it possible that the Lord even allowed this illness for this time to get my attention? If this is my trial, and I'm being tested, what a missed opportunity this would be. For if I were truly using this time wisely, the loneliness would not defeat me, because I'd be spending my time with someone of far greater worth than any diversion.